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That said, he proceeded to introduce me for the
next ten minutes as I stood in the wings with my
one lousy page of notes clutched in my remaining
handNames went past like floats in a paradeA
few, like Edward Hopper and Salvador Dalí, I knew
Others, like Yves Tanguy and Kay Sage, I didn't
Each unknown name made me feel more of an impostor
The fear I felt was no longer mental; it clamped a
deep and
balenciaga city stinking hold in my bowelsI felt like I
needed to pass gas, but I was afraid I might load
my pants insteadAnd that wasn't the worstEvery
word I had prepared had gone out of my mind except
for the very first line, which was hideously
appropriate: My name is Edgar Freemantle, and I
582
have no idea how I wound up hereIt was supposed
to elicit a chuckleIt wouldn't, I knew that now,
but at least it was true
While
prada messenger Dario droned on - Joan Miró this, Breton's
Surrealist Manifesto that - a terrified excontractor
stood with his pathetic page of notes
clutched in his cold fistMy tongue was a dead
slug that might croak but would speak no coherent
word, not to two hundred art mavens, many of whom
held advanced degrees, some of whom were
motherfucking professorsWorst of all was my
brainIt was a dry socket waiting to be
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with pointless, flailing anger: the words might
not come, but the rage was always on tap
"Enough!" Dario cried cheerily, striking fresh
terror into my pounding heart and sending a cramp
rolling through my miserable basement regions -
terror above, barely held-in shit belowWhat a
lovely combination"It has been fifteen years
since the Scoto added a new artist to its crowded
spring calendar, and we have
cheap rolex never introduced one
in whom there has been greater interestI think
the slides you are about to see and the talk you
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are about to hear will explain our interest and
excitement
He paused dramaticallyI felt a poison dew of
sweat spring out on my brow and wiped it offThe
arm that I lifted seemed to weigh fifty pounds
"Ladies and gentlemen, MrEdgar Freemantle,
lately of Minneapolis-StPaul, now of Duma
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